Bobbi..

Imagine the day you were born, you had two best friends waiting for you. Two best friends, that no matter what you did, or said they would always understand and never leave your side. They knew the real you and still loved you unconditionally, and would do ANYTHING for you. Thats what was waiting for me the day I was born. Two little girls that instantly, unconditionally loved me, every day of my life. We were instantly a strong triangle of love.

Imagine having a Mom, Dad and three daughters so close, so bonded together that people thought it was strange. Imagine a family that if you went to the mall, or to eat lunch at a restaurant, or was just bored you instantly called each other to meet in the middle. Imagine NEVER having to do anything alone. Imagine being able to pick up the phone and know at any day, any minute, any second, if you needed a favor, a baby sitter, an ear to bend, you had not one but four people to turn to, and you knew with out a doubt they would be there for you. Sounds like a dream come true right? Yep.

Imagine, being that close to your parents and two sisters, and then finding out that they are getting married, and  you are happy for them, but heart broken for yourself because you are losing them. You know that they have new families now. They are going to have some one else to live with and laugh with. Then you realize that you aren't losing them at all. In fact you just inherited two brothers to join in the fun. Then it doesn't stop there, you get two nieces, and two nephews to love so much you think that you'll burst!!

Now imagine, going through this amazing life, and knowing and appreciating every day the love of this family, and one day you wake up... and one of them is gone. Your best friend, that has been there for the most important days of your life, that made you laugh so hard you cried, who put their arms around you when you were sad, who reminded you that Gods plans, are his plans, not yours, and those plans always are out of the greatest of love.

My heart is heavy.. broken.. shattered.. My sister is gone. My best friend has passed away. That beautiful girl that I looked up to. I will have to wait so very long to see again. I can not focus. I can not stop my mind from thinking of her. I miss her so deeply, that words can not even come close to explaining.

I already have had things happen and I want to call Bobbi, and tell her everything. To make her laugh till she cries, and lets out a snort. She's given us all so much, but the most important things she's left behind are her amazing kids, Brian and Breanna. They know more about God, and heaven then most adults. This is the greatest thing Bobbi has done.

She chose an amazing man to marry. She chose a man who is an amazing Daddy to his kids. Who loves them so much it hurts. I know this because I see it, I know this because his kids are so great, and you don't become great kids without great parents. I am so thankful that he is so close to me and my family.

Have you ever had that terrible dream where you wake up in a sweat and you are so very thankful that it was just a bad dream? I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare, to tell Bobbi about it, and tell her to be careful, because we need her here... I wish I would just wake up.

I know that I will grieve for Bobbi the rest of my days on earth. I know that it won't get better, but it will get tolerable. I am thankful for my sister, Yvonne. I am thankful that I have her beautiful smile to see me through. I am thankful that I can still turn to her for anything, and she will be there for me, and I will be here for her... always. I am thankful that we are so very close to my Mom and Dad, that they raised us to always be there for one another, and though we are so much a like, we have our different ways of thinking, we are always excepting. I hope and pray that my kids, and nieces and nephews will always know this bond, and love.

I have no regrets, I have no shoulda, woulda, coulda. I was as close to my sister as I possibly could have been. I will forever be as close to my sister I have here struggling with me, as I have always been close to her. Our triangle is temporarily broken, but will be mended again some day. It helps that I will forever hold on to the last words Bobbi said to me "I love you too."