My friends..



Eric and Val

Linda and her beautiful baby girl

So I have these two amazing friends, Linda, and Valerie. Luckily they both live just houses away from us. You know those friends, where you don't see them or talk to them for awhile, because you all have kids and husbands and life to tend to, then you finally see them and its like you see each other every day? Yep, those two are those kinda friends. They are SO fun, and funny, and loving woman I know that when ever I need anything they are there for me! I had these friends when my sister past away, they were there for me, and were amazing, I truly felt it.

 Well, the reason I write about these two awesome ladies today is because last night Linda and her husband Dave invited us to dinner. So Jonny and I took Jack, Breanna, and Jacie over to have dinner with them and their beautiful kids, and Val, her husband Eric and their beautiful kids joined in the fun too! Luckily they have amazing husbands and we all get along and love spending time together, and LAUGH the whole time we are together!

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Linda broke out the game "Mexican Train" and that took me back to playing with Grandma at our kitchen table. Well, with kids interruptions and all of us laughing so hard, we were only able to play one round, but I had a so much fun (even though Eric beat us all)!

I had a great time catching up with the girls, and seeing their families. They are such great friends, and I am so blessed to have them in my life.. I just love those girls!

Thanks Val, and Linda for being such amazing friends, picking such amazing husbands, and raising such great kids!

Bobbi..

Imagine the day you were born, you had two best friends waiting for you. Two best friends, that no matter what you did, or said they would always understand and never leave your side. They knew the real you and still loved you unconditionally, and would do ANYTHING for you. Thats what was waiting for me the day I was born. Two little girls that instantly, unconditionally loved me, every day of my life. We were instantly a strong triangle of love.

Imagine having a Mom, Dad and three daughters so close, so bonded together that people thought it was strange. Imagine a family that if you went to the mall, or to eat lunch at a restaurant, or was just bored you instantly called each other to meet in the middle. Imagine NEVER having to do anything alone. Imagine being able to pick up the phone and know at any day, any minute, any second, if you needed a favor, a baby sitter, an ear to bend, you had not one but four people to turn to, and you knew with out a doubt they would be there for you. Sounds like a dream come true right? Yep.

Imagine, being that close to your parents and two sisters, and then finding out that they are getting married, and  you are happy for them, but heart broken for yourself because you are losing them. You know that they have new families now. They are going to have some one else to live with and laugh with. Then you realize that you aren't losing them at all. In fact you just inherited two brothers to join in the fun. Then it doesn't stop there, you get two nieces, and two nephews to love so much you think that you'll burst!!

Now imagine, going through this amazing life, and knowing and appreciating every day the love of this family, and one day you wake up... and one of them is gone. Your best friend, that has been there for the most important days of your life, that made you laugh so hard you cried, who put their arms around you when you were sad, who reminded you that Gods plans, are his plans, not yours, and those plans always are out of the greatest of love.

My heart is heavy.. broken.. shattered.. My sister is gone. My best friend has passed away. That beautiful girl that I looked up to. I will have to wait so very long to see again. I can not focus. I can not stop my mind from thinking of her. I miss her so deeply, that words can not even come close to explaining.

I already have had things happen and I want to call Bobbi, and tell her everything. To make her laugh till she cries, and lets out a snort. She's given us all so much, but the most important things she's left behind are her amazing kids, Brian and Breanna. They know more about God, and heaven then most adults. This is the greatest thing Bobbi has done.

She chose an amazing man to marry. She chose a man who is an amazing Daddy to his kids. Who loves them so much it hurts. I know this because I see it, I know this because his kids are so great, and you don't become great kids without great parents. I am so thankful that he is so close to me and my family.

Have you ever had that terrible dream where you wake up in a sweat and you are so very thankful that it was just a bad dream? I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare, to tell Bobbi about it, and tell her to be careful, because we need her here... I wish I would just wake up.

I know that I will grieve for Bobbi the rest of my days on earth. I know that it won't get better, but it will get tolerable. I am thankful for my sister, Yvonne. I am thankful that I have her beautiful smile to see me through. I am thankful that I can still turn to her for anything, and she will be there for me, and I will be here for her... always. I am thankful that we are so very close to my Mom and Dad, that they raised us to always be there for one another, and though we are so much a like, we have our different ways of thinking, we are always excepting. I hope and pray that my kids, and nieces and nephews will always know this bond, and love.

I have no regrets, I have no shoulda, woulda, coulda. I was as close to my sister as I possibly could have been. I will forever be as close to my sister I have here struggling with me, as I have always been close to her. Our triangle is temporarily broken, but will be mended again some day. It helps that I will forever hold on to the last words Bobbi said to me "I love you too."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

So today is my Dad's 68th birthday!! My Dad... my awesome Dad!!

Seriously my Dad is really awesome! He has always been an amazing Dad. I've said it before, that Dad has never spanked us, told us no, or even raised his voice to us. Ever! If we wanted to go anywhere, the movies, the mall, a friends house, we would ask Dad, and he would say "what did Mom say?" Now looking back I think that if we were'nt supposed to go anywhere he didn't want to be the one to tell us "no." If Dad made me lunch for school i knew he made it, cause it had a butter and jelly sandwhich, chips, and something that was either a cupcake, candy, or cookies. He spoiled us! Even now I know that I can always, always count on Dad if I need anything. "Dad, could you pick up the kids for me?", or "Dad, the battery in my truck is dead, can you come help me?" Never fails, no matter what he is doing, he drops everything and is there! I have never ever doubted for a second the love my Dad has for my Mom, my sisters and I (his girls). He is an amazing man, and I am so very thankfull that the Lord gave me to him! Thank you Dad... for EVERYTHING! Happy Birthday we love you!!

My poor sister..

Oh my! What a week. Now I have said that if you are having bad moments during your week or day that you don't say that you are having a bad day, or bad week, you just have bad moments. Welllll, this has been a horrible week. I hate giving negative to the whole week, but wow it was!

My sister Bobbi Jo, who I have mentioned on here a few times, has had a mysterious illness. When I say illness, I mean ILLNESS!!!! She has been so utterly sick it, I couldn't even describe in words on here to completely get you to understand. So as I said in a few blogs back, she's had this sickness of not being able to breath well, couldn't sleep, couldn't go up the stairs cause it took everything out of her, coughing.. that kinda stuff. Well, Sunday night she had so much trouble breathing that she agreed (which has to be bad) to go the Emergency room. Well her oxygen level was so low that they had to put her on an oxygen tube. So that night, Allen, Mom, and Yvonne stayed with her and reported back to me. The next morning I went in to the hospital to check on the patient (because we all know that I am an uncertified nurse), and when I walked in to see her I thought I was going to fall over. Her color was completely gone from her face, I'm talkin' white as a ghost!!! She couldn't move, she couldn't even adjust a pillow, turn her head without getting completely winded. She literally couldn't breath without the oxygen tube, she could barley breath with it!! If she had to get up to go the restroom it took EVERYTHING she had to get up (with someone helping her), and when she got back in bed she would have to sit there and breath hard (like she just ran a marathon), trying to calm her heart from the exertion. It was awful to watch her go through this.

After doing cat scans, and exrays, they found that she had fluid in her lungs, and after doing TONS of blood work they couldn't understand why. They also saw that she had a lump in her breast. They decided to find out what the problem is, they would have to do a biopsy. Tuesday night however she had been coughing so hard that she put a rib out! She was in pain, on her side, AND she couldn't breath! So Wednesday morning she finally gave in to our nagging and gave in to a pain pill for her pain, they also gave her a muscle relaxer. Holy Cow, she was out!! She couldn't hold her poor little eyes open, but for us this was good, because she wasn't aware of her misery. So that afternoon the doctor that was doing her biopsy came in and described to Allen and I (because Bobbi was half out of it lol) what was going to happen with the procedure.The doc told Allen he was welcome to stay for the whole thing, and Allen jumped on the opportunity! Me? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you saw my dust as I ran outta that room!!

 Well of course with how things had been going for her, it only got worse. Even though they have her anesthesia, and she had a pain pill AND muscle relaxer in her system, she felt EVERYTHING!!! Not only did they have to stick the prob sucker in her, he couldn't get in all the way, and kept having to dig around! She said it was AWFUL, she was in so much pain! Right before the procedure she had gotten "sick" to her stomach, and the whole day after the procedure she was sick to her stomach, throwing up. We decided she had a bad reaction to the pain meds.

Well, after that was all done, she was released from the hospital, and told there wasn't much else they could do, until they got the results to the biopsy. Oh man... we had to some how someway get her to the car, then get her to into the house. Luckily she qualified to have the oxygen sent home with her. So with MUCH effort and slowness we got my poor sister to my Mom's house. We all agreed she would be good there, because between, Allen, my Mom, Yvonne, and I we could take care of her. Oh, and yes it took ALL of us to take care of her, because she laterally couldn't move with out help. So, once we got her comfy (sorta) at Mom's, we thought all would be good, and we would just try to keep her as comfortable as possible. Well, her rib was still hurtin' and Mom gave her a different type of pain pill Wednesday night. Thursday she woke up as sick as she could possibly get! She couldn't hold anything down, and once everything in her stomach was gone she still got sick. In the middle of her being sick we had to put her in the car and take her to her doctors appointment. Let me just tell you how bad that was for her!! It took three of us the whole way there to help her, she was just .... miserable.

When she finally got into the appointment with her doctor, he gave her a shot for the nausea, and the headaches she'd been having. From there she was headed back to Mom's and layed back in bed. Fortunately her stomach was better, and she was able to eat, and have a semi-sound sleep.

Thats where we stand now. As of right now, she is sleeping on and off and I am sitting in her room on the floor with my laptop, listening to her oxygen tank, and glancing up at her every once and awhile to see if she is awake and in need of anything. It is a GREAT helpless feeling to see someone you love going through so much misery. Nothing you do will make it go away, you can't even make it better. We are in a waiting game now, to see what comes next in the healing process. I will keep you updated on the progress, and let you know when she is up and feeling better, happier, and breathing on her own! :)